Drape your Red Cloak – It’s a hefty ride in the Jungle!

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Priyanka Paul

Clinical Psychologist

I screamed in silence, patronized by the scars of early childhood,
Wherein the touches un-understood and lips tamed to be sealed;
An agony squealing beneath,
Beneath the shallow smiles of care and concern and hefty curtains,
Amidst the giggles that lost its thunder,
To a wonder of unvoiced events!
Being reared up in a society where consequences are given more importance than the descendants and actions are ignored but responses well preserved, makes a tough call. We are surviving in an era where humanity is not just questionable but also the threads of relationship that entails in our purview are. Pessimistic thoughts have not been glooming since the Nirbhaya incident or the rape of a Sikkim woman in a car in Gurgaon or the gang rape in Haryana’s Rohtak and Kashmir’s Kathua or the rape of a deaf and dumb girl in Varanasi or the rape of infants in our land of seven sacred rivers. I have been forlorn ever since I have been hearing about the combats of sexual abuse- be it on children, adolescents, adults or aged men and women. Disgust too seems to be an inappropriate emotion here, for our attitude towards violence has been shaped in such a manner that we have accepted our role as victims. If not so, then why aren’t the majority of girls receiving self defense classes, being trained to be more robust and aerobicized?
It is easy to complain and easier to whine but if a change is to be demanded then the pathway is not fair-minded lest we all stand upright to induce positivity in our mindsets. I surely sound hysterical right now. Well, if Little Red Riding Hood could get her grandmother back in one piece after she got gobbled by the hungry Wolf, the story not just speaks of threats in the Woods then. We tend to highlight upon the darkest events but often fail to see the ray of hope from the minutest gestures of help.
Rearing up young men and women is a challenging task in today’s scenario. Surrounded by wolves of both sex, little men along with the rose petalled women if taught to be assertive, defensive and strategic at the earliest age to start with, can soon muster the necessary skills needed to restore humanity. In the process, we who are still bearing the lineage of being humans can restructure the long journey. Competing only in Academics and Sports guess is not making the world a safer place for all.
Following Barbara Fredrickson’s (2001) ‘Broaden and Build Theory’ of positive emotions, if emotions like joy, interest, contentment, love, feelings of accomplishment and pride are inculcated more than the negative emotions of anger and fear in our daily chores and converses; surely will a persons’ healthy physical and psychological growth and development take place. When a child stumbles while playing, instead of mocking if appreciated when s/he stands up; instead of criticizing for a dress worn by a young girl if encouraged to dress situation and environment appropriately and accepting all beings in their skin and creed can reduce aggression to a certain extent and help boost self-esteem.
What has this to do with any form of sexual abuse? Years of feeling humiliated, unapproved and perceived dejection often gives rise to the emotion anger before anything else and when the anger cannot be contained within self, it is spelled out and is despair leads to acts of violence. Assault is not done out of pleasure but is an aggressive act and the perpetrators are definitely pathological to a certain extent. I am in no wish to express empathy by any means. I aim to write to induce a sense of positive well-being. Crying over, demanding sham and rage over the wrongs in our society is a mass reaction leading to no destined pathway. Reactions are not needed but responses are and to respond one seldom needs to be a wise Owl. If positive emotions are more enhanced than the negative ones in all spheres of life at the slightest opportunity, the impact such news have on us can be lowered along with a reduced possibility of rearing up more wolves in this Jungle.
I do not ask the readers to try and find anything positive in these forms of abuse but what I suggest as a fellow human is to appreciate the strength of a survivor, help them in coping with the hardships of life post trauma, do not label them, criticize or comment negatively- that lowers the will to fight back and also just try to greet everyone with a Smile (You never know who is hiding the pain of being a victim and since when).
A drop of water in the ocean is what my thoughts reflect. I am no revolutionary but we all can be one just to ourselves for the time being.