Some memories bloom like a bright red berry in the winter frozen bushes, no leaves yet elegant in its appearance, standing beautiful and still, appearing harmless yet fatal on consumption. Such memories are perhaps laden with scars of being unloved and un-caressed and left by the loved ones at junctures of extreme helplessness. If some such memories shine bright like the wild berry with leafless branches, I wonder, upon what are they feeding? Happiness, peace of mind, acceptance of self-worth or something bigger than this!

The soil of the human emotional mind draws its nutrients from the Amygdala, a tiny almond-shaped structure but powerful enough to harbor all sorts of emotions- desirable or not. It amazes me how the mind is not abstract anymore but bundles of neurons, glial cells and astrocytes to be a little more precise that acts as this great storehouse of memories laden with emotions.

Today I write for those in their late twenties, who are neither millennials nor people from a different generation, but struggling and juggling with a transitory period of their life. Is it Identity development (crisis) again? Identity of being single or married or a young parent or just someone who is still figuring out how to survive independently for once and for all. Late twenties’ is a beautiful age of empowerment, being responsible yet unconstrained in thoughts and actions. It’s the age of traversing choices of career, life partner, geographical location and self-appearance. It is the age where when you look back you see bounties of memories that shaped you to be who you are today… memories of experiences from school, college, first heartbreak, first workplace, first salary, first failure to the first act of responsibility towards yourself. This age gives choices, of either progressing logically or taking a step back and devouring self with animosity.

Progressing logically involves talking about some life decisions which shall eventually shape the entire course of life, decisions taken carefully and craftily without being nerve wrecked by the fear of uncertainty.  Decisions can span anything and everything- be it family, career or a choice of job or partner. These are not futile steps or judgments made in haste. These are the stepping stones for the next generation that the late twenties are soon going to welcome in their lives. This decision-making involves a lot of active communication but if the mind is still grappled with the agony of unmet desires and fears, will it stop the growth and progress of an upcoming generation? I end this in an abyss for each person shall have a different perspective to what being in the late twenties is for them and how they are coping with it.

Every journey needs to be celebrated so that when we look back at this quarter-life crisis at a much later age, we can feel proud of the choices made and not regret recalling the red berry memories of the twenties. It’s like being able to look into the warmth and pleasantness on a rainy gloomy windless day. Compassion can be the key to it whereby we connect and identify and instead of tearing ourselves apart, we land up building a stronger version of ourselves in this magical late twenty-quarter life crisis.

– Priyanka Paul, Clinical Psychologist