One of my favorites, Bob Dylan beautifully sang: “The answer my friend is blowing in the wind…” and my mind wanders with the slightest gush of air if I am being able to find that lost piece of myself amidst the cacophony of life. School was a safe place, we used to have the lost and found corner in front of Principal Madam’s office; the silence outside the room and her Eagle eyes scanning the box to help get what we have lost generated sensations of both quiver and sheer ecstasy, bringing a sigh of relief that we have not lost our precious little belongings. In retrospection ‘losing’ is a word that often scared me as a child- What if I lost my eraser? What if I could not finish my tiffin on time in the hurried 15 minutes short break? What if I missed my school bus? What if I failed in the exam? However, I certainly purchased a new pencil with an eraser attached to the tip of it, often traded my sandwich with the noodles my best friend got for tiffin, missed my school bus for sure and yes failed many a times in class tests but managed to get promoted to a new academic year.

Then why does the thought of losing or in other words not achieving create so much of distress today that even while humming this favorite Dylan’s song I start feeling restless? The answer is perhaps ingrained in the desire to keep everything under a preferably controlled situation. I won’t ask if the same happens to you or not because I intend to trigger answers and not just linger with a tagging question, so moving ahead… We love certainty; but have you ever wandered if you are being overly stringent about your goals, everyday targets at office or chores at home, or even about your expectations regarding your pursuits? By stringent I mean ‘analyzing things very minutely so much so that the thoughts are occurring more than once or repeatedly and is creating a sudden physical restlessness and blocking the mind from thinking beyond it’.

If YES then congratulations this need not be OCD (Pause if you just assumed this is leading to some abrupt diagnosis). This can perhaps be a hot sign that you are not trying to consider all the factors involved in an event or situation- both internal and external which is leading to a very narrowed or constricted thinking style and a stringent behavior pattern.

If NO, meaning you are not trying to be very controlling, then try to maintain this flexible thinking habit and encourage others to adopt a tad bit carefree lifestyle, not careless please!

Lastly for those whom I asked to pause, ask yourself what is making you overthink? What losses are you still bearing in your mind? What pains are you still holding on to that overthinking has latched itself to you? Perhaps you are not being able to see the reality without this dinted glass of worry!

Losing is part and parcel of existence and 2020 has been the biggest evidence of all with situations not yet under our control. But neither have we stopped living nor have we given up that easily, then will it be fair if you mollycoddle your mental peace.

– Priyanka Paul, Clinical Psychologist